Thursday, March 14, 2013

Tips for any Military Spouse


military spouse wisdom, tips for military spouses

  • Change is good....embrace it!
  • PCS is inevitable, prepare for it.
  • Don't shop at the Commissary on or near payday.
  • Good friends become new Family....treat them well!
  • Patience is key...know that whether you are awaiting them to come home from work or a deployment, the military will always have delays!
  • Be flexible...always write in your calendar in pencil...just know it will change.
  • Buy refundable tickets, even leave is not always guaranteed.
  • His social security number will always be more important than yours.
  • Power of Attorney's are a must...and keep an eye on the expiration dates, you will only NEED it the day AFTER it EXPIRES!
  • Communication is KEY....sometimes that means being able to communicate from very long distances, through phone lines that are either limited in time or through horrible connections.
  • Be yourself always and have something you enjoy for yourself no matter where you are stationed.
  • Understand that your career will need to be movable....PCS is inevitable!
  • Know the world you live in...attend AFTB for Army, COMPASS for Navy, or any other military spouse training you can.
  • Learn the acronyms that you will need to know.  Speak the language.
  • Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  Murphy's Law was definitely created for the Military Spouse!
  • will get more out of it, then you realize until it is over.  
  • Be the friend you will need!
  • Stay positive!  Don't let the negative get to you.
  • Learn to research....everything in life will need you to be your best advocate.  Knowledge is power!
  • Find people who inspire you and lift you up.
  • Trust in your instincts.  If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't.
  • Learn from those that have not only been there and done that, but did it well.  
  • Not only reach out to the spouses groups, but become a positive in it.
  • Help create the change you want to happen.
  • Always strive to be better, whether that is education, career, or parenting.  
  • Support your Soldier and stand by him with pride.
  • Never be afraid to ask for more information.  Again "knowledge is power!"
  • Understand quality time is important.  Quantity is overrated.  
  • Make the most of where you are and what you are doing at the moment.
  • Battle buddies are not only important, but much needed....BUT chose them wisely! (Remember you want positive, inspiring, and non-drama filled battle buddies!)
  • Deployment happens.  Set goals and accomplish things while they are away.  
  • Be inspiring for others too.  Every Military Spouse has something to offer to another. 
  • Realize and accept civilian friends will never understand how you do what you do.  That's OK!
  • Appreciate big dates that they are home, but don't lose it over dates that they can't make.  (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Holidays, etc.)  Celebrate long distance if you must!  
  • Be an independent dependent.  Know how to manage with and without them home.  
  • Understand "Hurry up and wait" is just a fact of life.  
  • If you are a planner, plan for back up plans...just in case.  
  • Know that expectations speak volumes to your emotions.  You can't be disappointed if you expected it.  (Not saying to always be negative, but just to understand that being flexible is SO important!)
  • Sometimes DENIAL is a must.  As a spouse of someone who does something dangerous, you can't always live in fear.  Understand that and drive forward!  
  • Happiness is a choice....make good choices!
  • Understand that we will all make mistakes, and it's what you do with that mistake that counts.  Don't dwell on the mistake, learn from it.  Also others will make mistakes, learn to forgive!
  • And a personal one for me....PRAY!  God is my key to getting through the best of times and the worst of times!!!  

These are just a few of the many tips I have lived by.  I have survived 20+ years of Army life as a spouse.  I haven't always done it well, but I have always strived to be better!  ;O)

If nothing else, I hope I have inspired you today!!!  

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  1. Great tips, Pam. :) A lot of these are things we have to learn through time and experience with the military, but it's nice to have a list we can share with new wives to show them what to expect!!

    1. You are SO correct....when I began the article, I started with a title that said, "Wisdom I wished I had 20 years ago"....but then quickly thought that not all of these things took me 20 years to really get. So I simplified it. I find that even as a "seasoned" military spouse, I forget my own wisdom at times and just need the reminder! Thanks for stopping by and reading it. I just hope it can inspire some to enjoy the moment they are in. That is my ultimate goal!!! :O)

  2. These are fantastic tips, Pam. I wish I'd known some of them when I first married my (now retired) Army guy. One I'd add: never go to the Commissary without checking out the sales on We live close enough to post, where my husband now teaches, that we make the trip there weekly. Having an idea what's on sale makes it SO much easier!

    I wanted to invite you to join my How To Tuesday link party, if you haven't already joined . It would be wonderful to have you!

  3. Pam this is a wonderful list, written by someone who has been through enough of these things to have learned the hard lessons. Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom. I am at the 10 year mark as a MIL wife, right in the thick of it! Learning from those that have paved this path before me!
    God Bless you,

    1. Thanks Faith....I believe whether we are young wife or a "seasoned" one....we all have something to learn from each other. I'm just hoping to inspire others. :O)

  4. some really great tips there! I am fairly new to this whole military wife thing, married 10 months ago, he did a 6 month deployment after the wedding and now finally we are settling into life on McChord AFB! :)

    1. WELCOME to Military Life is a whole new world. I challenge you to make the best of it, no matter what it throws at you!!! :O)

  5. Great tips and encouragement that is much needed. I am just beginning my journey as a military wife, married two months ago and he is currently deployed. Thanks for the information!